Drunk Texting

Oh no. It's happened again. It's 2 pm and I am just waking up. It starts out fuzzy, begins to come in focus, and then comes rushing, no, slamming back. I have strange messages that I don't remember in my phone. What have I done? Oh wait, I know what I have done. I have shot myself in the foot, then taken that foot, stuck it in my mouth, and the cou de gras is the last time I did this I promised myself I wouldn't drunk dial.

Okay, so I didn't drunk dial, but I drunk texted. Oh God, someone take my phone away from me. But I know that if they take my phone away, I will find another way to communicate while I am drunk. I will send a telegram, a smoke signal, facilitate chinese whispers, contruct a tin can with a string attached, or maybe just send out tele-pathetic waves. Either way, I will wear my desire for communication like a Easter Sunday church hat when I call that guy that I shouldn't even still have in my phone.

This is not good, this is not good at all. I definately need to find a better way to deal with my phone and my complete lack of respect for it and myself. Because I have done this before I have set up some safegaurds. My parent's home number is not in my speed dial anymore, or in my phone for that matter. I accidentally dialed it once and left approximately 10 minutes of laughter and silence on their answering machine. When they asked later if I called and did this, I only coughed once or twice before stammering out, no. Then I thanked God that my parents still live like dinosaurs and don't have caller ID.

I also deleted the guys from my phone who I considered "at risk". This means that they are very at risk of hearing from me at obsurd hours in the morning. This didn't help me very much as my phone worked against me and hid their numbers in places that I found right when I needed them (thank you saved sent messages folder).

We all know not to drink and drive, but is there any kind of provisions for drinking and texting? Where is the proverbial cab that takes me away from the danger zone? Where is the bartender who cuts me off from completely embarrassing myself by calling someone I only want to talk to when I have left my inhibitions in the bottom of a glass?

I realize now the only way I will learn not to do this will be the awkward times that I see this person when I am clear headed and kicking myself. Until then, I have changed my cell phone messaging plan to being unlimited. I think I might be in trouble.